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As a first-time parent in 1984, I was well-prepared for labour and birth, but knew almost nothing about the physical and emotional elements of the postpartum period. 

I 'd like to speak frankly to

first time parents.

 

Doulas often  wrestle between how much to say or not

when it comes to first time mothers.

We don’t want to scare anyone, but

we do want parents to be fully prepared!

 

So, while not trying to frighten you, I do want to tell you that – in general – labouring, birthing, and taking a baby home are all harder than most of us want to say. Each of these elements of stepping into parenthood take more time, energy, knowledge, and resolve than you can imagine.

I feel like my hands are tied when first time parents say that they have done prenatal classes and they will be fine, thanks.

Because every parent and doula  knows that, yes, they will get through their experience (everyone does!).

 

But we also know that their experience could have been so much better, less frightening, less confusing,

less feeling like they were a tiny boat in a big ocean.

 

 

Some people really do have great labours, births, and

postpartum or going home experiences without having a doula.

But to be very honest, they are the exception rather than the rule.

Reviews from first time parents

 

"We decided that Laura was going to be the doula for the birth of our first son Jonah. It was one of the best choices we’ve ever made! "

I’d like to begin my testimonial by saying that my wife and I did not know what a doula was. I met Laura at an event, and she introduced me to the doula services, and after a brief discussion with my wife we decided that Laura was going to be the doula for the birth of our first son Jonah. It was one of the best choices we’ve ever made! At first, I thought we were making this decision because we do not have our families with us here in Kingston and going through a pregnancy by ourselves in a foreign country was scary. I now realize that this was the least important of the reasons why we chose to have Laura with us.

 

Before the birth: Laura is extremely knowledgeable about the pregnancy, and the state of mind of each parent month by month. She would go through every change that the woman’s body undergo during this beautiful process, and she would always have a positive energy, and very calm spirit even when talking about possible sad circumstances. This helped us establish a trusted environment where the relationship between doula and parents were more like a relative rather than a professional. She would always answer our questions and concerns and point us in the right direction in case she did not know the answer. Finally, she valued and supported the importance of the partner, and I felt guided and excited to become the best support for my wife.

 

During the birth: the delivery day was the day I realized the true power of having a doula with us. Not only she was very comfortable with the entire process, which helped us feel less under pressure, but just like a mother does she supported my wife every single step of the way, from getting adjusted to the birth room, to stimulating positive thoughts and laughing, to helping relaxing. My wife says that having Laura close was just like having a caring mother, even better, since she has a lot of experience with births. Of course, she never forgot about the partner, not even during the birth, she would guide me through every decision, and keep my feet on the ground in the moments my mind was telling me to freak out. Last, but not least, thanks to Laura we have the best photoshoot of the birth of our little Jonah.

 

After delivery:  The postpartum a very delicate phase, we were extremely glad we had Laura with us. She met with us three times after birth, making sure that breastfeeding was going fine, and most importantly that both parents were happy and healthy. The positive energy she always shows helped us go through those tough days in which sleep deprivation and tiredness kick in, and you begin to doubt your capabilities.

 

I strongly suggest new parents to hire Laura as your doula, it’s a choice you will never regret, and it’s a bond you create for life.

FA

"If you're a new mom who, like me, could use some help, Laura is a lifesaver!"

If you're a new mom who, like me, could use some help, Laura is a lifesaver! Getting through the newborn stage was much easier because of her. A doula and mom herself, she was extremely knowledgeable and sweet and kind to my daughter. Having Laura's help was a great investment in my happiness and my baby's, and well worth the money spent. Thank you, Laura!

KM

 

Are you adding another baby to your family? Congratulations! 

 

 

It's funny, but a lot of us feel a need for support just as much for a subsequent baby as for our first. I have served as a doula for families having their 4th and 5th child as well as those having a second little one.

Often, there are a wide range of questions from how to make a good experience even better to - sadly - how to deal with trauma from earlier births or postpartum periods 

In addition, many parents having a subsequent child have questions about introducing the new baby to their household. I had four children in five years and have watched my children bring eleven little ones into our family. I have lots of helpful thoughts (derived from both success and failure!) on bringing a new baby to the other little one(s) in your life and in managing those early postpartum weeks. 

 

 

Questions specific to an additional child

 

 

This is our second or subsequent birth - do we still need the first two meetings of your package?

Absolutely!

Doulas have found that if a family is seeking doula care with a subsequent pregnancy, either

  • they had a good experience and want to prepare for the same or
  • there is a fair bit to untangle from the prior experience(s).

It is so helpful to talk things out, to understand what can be different and realize your capacity to make decisions that are in line what you hope to experience. It is also an important time of getting to know each other so that I can give you my best during the time when you labour, birth, and live the postpartum hours.

Can you help with understanding how our first child will process not being the only child anymore?

Yes, I can!

I have so many practical thoughts and ideas that will help you with bringing a new baby home to a first child!

Also, I will help you to think through a postpartum plan that will make your first days and weeks SO much easier.

 

 

 

 

Reviews from parents having an additional child

 

After the birth of our first child, my husband said, "Why didn't we hire a doula?"

Birth

After the birth of our first child, my husband said, "Why didn't we hire a doula?" I thought we were prepared after taking the birth class and because our family doctor would be the delivery doctor. I was wrong!

 

By the time we reached the hospital, we were both exhausted and confused after an extremely long early labour stage. The nursing staff, bless their hearts, are wonderful, but they take breaks and change shifts over the course of your labour and delivery. They have different styles and approaches, and ultimately their concern is the baby and your physical wellbeing, not your comfort or peace of mind. While some are willing to let you labour the way you like, others may not be if it interferes with the monitors. My husband was my only support, which was exhausting for him. 

 

Needless to say, we chose a doula for the birth of our second baby. Before the birth, Laura and I met to remind me about what to expect and she guided me through coming up with a birth plan. Even though I’d done it before, there were many things I didn't realize I had a choice about when it came to labour and delivery and Laura outlined different options. She kept in contact frequently as we approached and past passed the due date, helping us plan if the baby decided to come during an impending snowstorm.

 

When labour was underway at the hospital, she arrived and sprung into action! She helped me find comfortable and effective labouring positions. She rubbed my back and held me when I needed it. She helped my husband take a break and also let him know when I needed him, so I didn't have to. She anticipated my needs and encouraged me when I felt weak. The doula lets the nurses and doctors focus on their job and the mother focus on hers. Our doctor later described Laura as "amazing" and my husband said it's "definitely worth it". 

 

Have mercy on yourself and your partner, hire a doula! Hire Laura, she's the best there is! 

 

Postpartum

Having a parenting support practitioner for my second child was particularly useful to help to remind me about newborn care as well as guidance and support when it comes to balancing the needs of our newborn and toddler. Laura gave me some strategies for how to manage with two kids on top of my household tasks and I felt so much more confident that I can do this.

In today’s day and age, there are many women, like me, who do not have friends and relations who are real expert in the realm of children and babies I felt that Laura is tremendously gifted with children and she has a lot to offer other mothers, both in terms of self care and baby/child care. She also has a lot of experience to share with respect to sleep and feeding strategies.

Overall, I feel more confident with my newborn and new my new role as a mother of two. I feel that I had (and continue to have) a support when I need it, but more importantly, feel more confident and relaxed in my own ability to nurture my children.

I really like the way Laura relates to our toddler with gentle compassion and respect for her individuality. Laura is amazingly calm and soothing with the newborn. I strive to bring this attitude and approach more into my own parenting.

MS

"Many of the tidbits Laura shared stuck with me and gave me a new perspective of my birth and breastfeeding experiences."

“Laura was my postpartum doula and was always so thoughtful during our time together. She took time to truly listen to my concerns and offered words of encouragement when needed. Many of the tidbits she shared stuck with me and gave me a new perspective of my birth and breastfeeding experiences. She also cared deeply for my baby which showed in how she interacted with him.”

JT